Lorain County Free-Net Chapel

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~ A place to find answers to gnawing spiritual questions ~


Question: I'm struggling with how to forgive people, many of which are my friends, for being so close-minded to Christianity and my beliefs. I am 16 and my friends are young as well, but already they are bitter against my religion for the sole reason that many wars have been fought in its name. I can't argue my way with them, I simply wonder how we are to forgive their mind sets?

Answer: Let me first say that you are not alone with this problem. Another important thing that you need to know is that God really cares about your problems. (1 Peter 5:7)

Forgiveness is necessary, but not always easy. Only by having God's love can we forgive. You must understand that your friends who have not received Jesus as their Savior have first offended God more than you. But notice God's love and patience towards the sinner: Jesus said from the cross, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Ask God to give you the same love that He has for sinners. It is possible, because Stephen was able to forgive his enemies when they were killing him (Acts 7).

About the matter of being able to answer all the questions that your friends have about Christianity, realize that sinners are blinded spiritually (2 Corinthians 4:4). Even if you gave a really good explanation to one of their questions, unless the Holy Spirit draws them and opens their blinded minds, they will never receive the truth. I say this to say that the most important thing is to pray for your friends, that they would see the light. Be ready to give biblical answers to their questions, and if you don't know the answer at the time, tell them you will try your best to find out (through a Pastor or Ask a Minister). Your main part is to pray and to live the Christian life before them. If they see your godly life, that will say a lot to them about the reality of Christ and the Christian faith. (Matthew 5:16)

By the way, wars were never started by REAL Christians. Your friends need to know that there have been many professing Christians who have done very sinful things; but this does not mean that there are not real Christians who love God and who love others.

May God help you as you try to help your friends. By the way, be careful how close you get to these friends. Do make sure that they are not causing you to go their way. You need to influence them for Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14-18). If they eventually won't come your way, you need to look for new friends; ones that love Christ the way you do.

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