~ A place to find answers to gnawing spiritual questions ~
Question: My question is, what do I do with people who are saying they are Christians but attitudes are so bad that they are running away others? Can you elaborate on how to talk to a person like that?Answer: The key issue is "Attitude" - "Bad"
Consequence - "running others away" from church I assume.
Possible source of problem - "saying they are Christians" implies doubt about their experience with Christ.
Predetermined solution - "how to talk to a person like that?"
If the above outline is an accurate assessment of you question, then my answer is as follows:
1. If the person with the bad attitude is indeed an unconverted person then any attempt to improve their attitude by pointing it our to them will most likely result in an even worse attitude. "If any man hath not the spirit of Christ he is none of his," and therefore he is influenced by the suggestions of Satan rather than the prompting of the Spirit of God. Prayer and fasting will be very effective in this instance.
2. If the person is a Christian who is out of balance spiritually, and not embraced the fullness of what it means to live for Christ, some instruction may help them.
And it came to pass, when the time was come that he should be received up, he stedfastly set his face to go to Jerusalem, And sent messengers before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him. And they did not receive him, because his face was as though he would go to Jerusalem. And when his disciples James and John saw this, they said, Lord, wilt thou that we command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them, even as Elias did? But he turned, and rebuked them, and said, YE KNOW NOT WHAT MANNER OF SPIRIT YE ARE OF. FOR THE SON OF MAN IS NOT COME TO DESTROY MEN'S LIVES, BUT TO SAVE THEM. And they went to another village (Luke 9:51-56).
This person you mentioned is not the only Christian who has failed to realize "what manner of spirit they are of." Just to give you another Biblical example of a Christian with a wrong attitude, notice Galatians 2:11-14:
But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to the face, because he was to be blamed. For before that certain came from James, he did eat with the Gentiles: but when they were come, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing them which were of the circumcision. And the other Jews dissembled likewise with him; insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with their dissimulation. But when I saw that they walked not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel, I said unto Peter before them all, If thou, being a Jew, livest after the manner of Gentiles, and not as do the Jews, why compellest thou the Gentiles to live as do the Jews?
Attitudes are contagious and even great people can develop an attitude that's hurtful to the church. The Apostle John and James did. Now the Apostle Peter has developed a hurtful attitude and it goes on to effect other believing Jews and even Barnabas, the son of consolation.
Paul had a talk with Peter that seemed to help. It appears that he pointed out to Peter what he was doing. I imagine that Peter and Barnabas were ashamed and repentant when they realized what they had done.
Verse 14, Paul was able to find the right words to cause Peter to see what he was doing. Spurgeon said, "He preaches best who can turn the ear into an eye." That's what Paul did in verse 14.
In conclusion let me recommend a book and give you a sound piece of advice. The book is THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE by John Trent & Gary Smalley. The advice is - before you approach anyone in the church you should consult your pastor. The person you mentioned has a soul and care must be taken that they not be run off by your attitude.
