~ A place to find answers to gnawing spiritual questions ~
Question: I received a call from my 11 year old son's principal today. She said that my son had been using bad language on several occasions and that she would not repeat the words to me over the phone. I have tried and tried to break him from this habit of name calling. He does it at home, but on a lower level (words like idiot, moron, etc.). The principal said if it happens one more time he will be kicked out of school. How can I make him understand that the actions come with consequences?Answer:
Although your son is young, it is evident that he needs a work of grace done in his heart. Usually, it is not enough to tell us about the consequences of sin; it seems as though we humans go ahead and do the harmful things anyway. In Romans 7:15-24, the apostle describes his struggle with sin, and in chapter 8 he comes up with the solution; of walking and living in the Spirit (see especially verse 13). Self effort does not work very well, because there is nothing in our natural flesh that can motivate us.
The first thing is this: your son needs to be born again. If, however, he is, he needs to depend on the help of the Holy Spirit to put to death the deeds of the body. As a parent, you need to do all you can to be an example to him. Do you take him to church with you regularly? Do you teach him at home the things of God's word?
Apparently you are sending him to a Christian school, because I have not heard of a boy being expelled from a public school for the offenses you describe. He needs the prayerful guidance of his parents, as well as example. He needs to seek the companionship of friends who do not lead him astray. Pray with him; teach him from the Word of God to seek God for His grace. Self effort is not enough! If self effort were enough, we would never have needed a Saviour. It is because we cannot do it ourselves that God sent His Son to save us, and His Holy Spirit to dwell in us, and to enable us to do His will. He must create in us clean hearts, because we cannot clean our own hearts.
