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Question: Can you please explain Proverbs 23: 13 & 14? Do these verses literally mean beat your children with a rod? What exactly is a rod? Are there any New Testament verses to back up this verse or contradict it? I am having a difficult time thinking that God intends us to beat our children with a rod.

Answer:

The Hebrew word is shebet, and it means a stick or branch of a tree. The word "beat" has a stronger connotation today that it did in 1611, when the King James version was translated. Perhaps the NIV translates it a little more gently, "If you punish him with the rod, he will not die."

To chasten, or discipline, our children when they are disobedient is a principle taught in the Word of God. This is because we are all born with sinful natures. Correction is brought about by the inflicting of pain of some kind.

Now we can often bring children into line by inflicting pain, without it being physical, such as withholding certain privileges for a time. However, for most children, the most effective way is to administer a spanking to "the seat of learning."

Now, a spanking can be administered without being brutal or abusive. It must not be done in anger or irritation. It must be administered wisely and prayerfully. I have known some parents to stop and tell the child why the spanking is being given, before it is actually performed.

Hebrews 12 gives the illustration of God administering correction to us, His children. Read carefully verses 5 through 11, and you will see that God also "spanks" His children. Notice, however, that God's chastening is not punitive, but corrective . Afterward, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who are exercised thereby, even though that chastening at the time is painful. (verse 11).

The Bible does not teach "child abuse", but it does teach physical punishment when it is needed. Children who are never corrected usually turn out to be "brats", and have to face some very hard blows in their adult years because they were not corrected in childhood.

The Book of Proverbs is as much the Word of God as any other book in the Bible, and it teaches that children must be corrected by corporal punishment when it is needed. (Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, 22:15, and the text you gave). I am sure that God does not enjoy correcting His children at times, but He wants to make us partakers of His holiness. Likewise, it is the duty of parents to administer correction to their children even though at times it is something they would rather not do. If the fault is allowed to go unchecked, and the child grows into adulthood with that character flaw, there is no telling what pain he will suffer as a result, after he leaves home and is on his own.

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