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Question: Over the past 12 months I have made a conscious effort to deepen my relationship with God (i.e. devotionals, prayer time, etc.). It was about 10 months ago, as a matter of fact, that I can honestly say my prayer life began. A precious older woman (80 years old) that I had admired as a child reappeared in my life. I rediscovered her through a media report that had described her difficult life, continuing struggles, and faith in God.

My heart was filled with Christian love for her and also my heart was quite burdened for her. Since she lived across the country in a location unknown to me, I had no way to express my concern for her. So, in the midst of this compassion, I took my "need" to God and asked "What do you want me to do with this love?" In a voice that was as silent as a whisper and as loud as thunder I received what I believed to be His answer "Pray for her." So, on that day, I started doing something that I had always needed to do - started my day with prayer.

A decision came across my path exactly 2 1/2 months ago that has challenged my prayer life. I came in contact with her caretaker and was given the opportunity to talk with this lady. I saw this as an opportunity to let her know that I had been praying for her and was appreciative of her willingness to share about her faith in God and the difference it had made in her life. After much prayer, I accepted the offer and a brief conversation occurred. But, instead of the strong woman of faith that I had anticipated, I found a bitter, lonely, depressed old woman whose constant abuse of prescription drugs has brought her precariously close to death as recent as two weeks ago. My expressions of faith are treated by the caretaker, as the "ravings of a madwoman" and that hurts; although my prayer never was about the caretaker - it was about my friend.

And, what about her? Why does it seem that my prayers haven't been working? How do I know that my prayers haven't been working? Well, her latest drug overdose just 2 weeks ago is a pretty good indication to me.

Exactly what have I been praying for? Have my prayers been selfish ones? I can honestly say that my prayers for her have been the most selfless to date. I never prayed to meet her or make contact with her. I only prayed that she would feel His presence in a mighty way each and every day (if that had been answered then why did she OD?). I prayed that He would carry her and support her each and every day. I prayed that He would help or heal her of this overwhelming depression that she has always struggled with (if that had been answered then why does she even need anti-depressants?).I have wept for her. I have "given" her to God time and time again. And now I find myself asking one question - why? Why did I feel called to intercede for her? Why have I wasted my time when I've apparently been participating in "pious babbling"? I know that God's powers are limited by our willingness to surrender to His intervention. But, if that's the case, why do we ask Him to intercede if He is indeed bound by our "free will." Why do we pray, anyway? If He knows our need before we even utter it, then why say anything? He already knows and can only intervene as much as we'll let him. What's the point?

To make matters worse, I am one of the leaders of my congregation's prayer ministry. Now, I know that this is Satan's way of tearing down something that God has been trying to build up, but I need some real answers to some very real doubts. And, don't think that I'm giving up just because one request didn't "turn out" the way I had hoped. This is but one of several recent requests that seem to have fallen on deaf ears. I don't even feel like He's there when I talk to Him - and I know it's not because of sin. Right after I started my prayer life I started reading The Prayer of Jabez (which was a God send). I realize the importance of living a blameless life so that my petitions can be brought before the Lord with a guiltless heart. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I don't know if I can continue doing what is "right."

The questions you have asked are troublesome indeed, and I am not even going to pretend to have all the answers. However, I do want to encourage you to keep praying. Why? Because God commanded it.

It appears to me that you were disillusioned because you did not find what you expected when visiting your friend. You were wanting to speak to a woman of great faith that would encourage you in your Christian walk. Instead, you came upon someone in a great deal of pain, needing reassurance and encouragement from you.

You mentioned that the caretaker was hard hearted and made cutting remarks about your faith. I assume you did not spend much time there, but look at the effect that attitude had on you. Now try to imagine living day to day in that environment. It seems that this dear lady could be having her faith attacked every day. Even the strongest Christians are not immune from Satan's arrows.

Instead of thinking that God did not answer your prayers and therefore they were worthless, consider that perhaps God WAS surrounding her with His presence, just as you had asked. You are right in that God will not force His desires upon a person. God will not step beyond a person's will. Yes, she took an overdose of drugs by her own free will. But by God's mercy, and because of your prayers, she did not die from it

No prayer to our God falls on deaf ears, but they are not always answered in the time or in the manner of our expectation. During a time in my own life when I was likewise dealing with a similarly difficult situation, I had every expectation that God would answer my prayer, and do so in the time and manner in which I anticipated. When that did not take place as I expected, I asked why. I heard from God the words "In GOD's time." I now have those words hanging on my refrigerator and on my office bulletin board to remind me of the sovereignty of God, and his all knowing wisdom and great love for us. In time, my prayers were mightily answered, and in such a way as I could never have imagined.

Perhaps God sent you there so you could see first hand what kind of pain she is in and what her living conditions are so that you can pray more effectively for her situation. Instead of simply praying for God's presence in her room, (which is a very good prayer), perhaps you need to pray that the Lord would touch the heart of the caretaker and help him to be more compassionate toward the lady and less hostile toward her faith. You could pray for her pain to be diminished, and for her peace of mind. Perhaps she needs more visitors to stop by with encouragement and love.

Along with your prayers, consider that the Lord may want you to have a more personal relationship with this woman during her remaining time on this earth. Letters and cards of encouragement would certainly be in order, as well as an occasional gift book or inspirational music tape. God often answers prayer through people, and it seems that this woman is in need of people to shower her with reminders of God's love.

You are also correct in realizing that Satan is trying to tear you down. If he can use this incident among others to dissuade you from believing in the power of prayer, he will effectively destroy you and your ministry. Being in a leadership position makes you a prime target. You may not be doing anything wrong. What you are doing is invading Satan's territory with your prayers and those of the other people on your prayer team. He isn't going to let that happen without a fight. If he can get you down, he will have no problem taking down the whole team. You cannot let him do this. It is wearying, but you must fight Satan. This is partly what is meant by the term "spiritual warfare."

Remember that there are a few instances in the Bible where prayer was not answered in the expected manner. One was in the case of Daniel. He prayed for twenty-one days wondering where the answer was. Finally an angel came to him explaining that the answer had been sent on the first day, however it was hindered by Satan and his demons. There is more happening in the spirit world than we can comprehend, which gives us all the more reason to keep praying even if we are not seeing results.

Below is a list of helpful links dealing with prayer. As a prayer team leader, you will find valuable information on "The Altar" page which would be beneficial to share with your group.

Additional Resources