~ A place to find answers to gnawing spiritual questions ~
Question: I go to a Baptist church but my wife's dad will not let her go with me because he is very against Baptist believing saved before baptism and not having communion every Sunday. My answer was you are saved before baptism but you need to be baptized for remission of sins not for but because of salvation and the Bible says on the first of the week not every week. But what I don't understand is why has it got to where churches have guide lines so to speak that makes them different than the rest and feels like they are right because that is what they where told all their life. I think they need to get away from legalism and search the Bible daily with an open mind. Now back to my question. Doesn't the Bible say separated from mother and father and joined as one let man not separate. Then why can't some parents let go of their children and trust God. Also why do some pastors have to be judgmental about their believes. I was told by a Church of Christ preacher I went about my salvation wrong because I said I was saved before I was baptized and said Baptist believed you were baptized to be a number in the church. He asked me to tell him one place in the Bible where salvation before baptism after the resurrection because he didn't want to use the thief on the cross. I told him Romans 10: 9-13 he said 9-11 was confession and left out 12-13. I went back and read all of the New Testament because they do not go by the Old Testament. They call it the old law because Psalms 150 is in the Old Testament I guess but the 10 commandments is also. We are still not going to church together because my church does not have communion every Sunday and they do not preach salvation before baptism if you could give me any advice it would be grateful.Answer:
First let us look at what marriage is:
Marriage is a union of a man and a woman as husband and wife who is bound together by a vow to each other before God and so has become a foundation for a family.
From the beginning of time as man knows time, God himself instituted marriage when He spoke, " It is not good that man should be alone, I will make him an help meet[ mate] for him,"[Genesis.2:18].
So as we can see, God created the institute of marriage through His love for man. In Genesis 2:23, Adam said,"This is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man." In this verse we see they have become one as in one bone, the foundation, the deepest part, flesh as in one emotion or feelings and she now shares the name as wo-man. She is from and is apart of man. In verse 24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." As we look at this verse we also need to understand what the words mean. [leave: to go away from]; [shall - should, ought to, must and will have to]; [cleave- to adhere to firmly, closely or loyally and unwavering]; [ to be one flesh- to become one unit, one body] as God had created them to be. In Genesis 3:16, God said, " thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The husband is head of the home as Christ is head of the church. But the husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church. With compassion and forgiveness.
Jesus said in Matthew 19:5,6;" they are no more twine. [Twine- means two or couple]; but, [the word but - emphasizes the opposite of something] one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let no man put asunder" [Joined- there had to be at least two in order to be put together, but now there are one. No man can put asunder[ asunder- take apart, from each other or the position they are in].
In the Bible it was Moses who allowed a man to divorce his wife, Deuteronomy 24:1, not God. Even Jesus spoke about it, Matthew 19:8,9. In Malachi 2:16, it tells us that, God hates putting away [divorce] which means division.
In marriage a vow is taken. [A vow - a solemn promise or pledge that binds a person or persons to perform a specified act or to behave in a certain manner.] Vows are to be made after careful consideration of the results. Deuteronomy 23:21-23; Ecclesiastes 5:4-6. You both made a vow before God and it must be followed through with. The wife said ,"honor and obey", the husband said," love and cherish", both said," until death do we part." God cannot bless a marriage that is divided. God puts together- Satan divides. Read these verses; Mark 10:9; Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians. 7:10,11; Ephesians 5:22,25; 1 Peter 3:1,7
Salvation: In Nelson's Bible Dictionary, [salvation is deliverance from the power of sin; redemption. Webster's Dictionary, [to save, deliverance from the power and affects of sin: the realization of supremacy of an infinite Mind[God]. Salvation is talked about in the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. From Genesis 3; it tells of sin interring into the Holy Garden through woman and man. In verse 10, Adam heard God's voice[ I have often thought, at least he could still hear the voice of God.] and he said he was afraid, "because I was naked and I hid myself." Sin strips us of our righteous clothing, our covering of the Holiness of God and we try to hide from God. But for Adam and Eve there was a forgiveness. Adam and Eve were not cursed like the serpent. They were saved from the curse. Other old Testament Scriptures Psalms 27:1; 37:39; Isaiah 12:2;25:9; Zephaniah 3:17 as well as many more.
In the New Testament, it definitely states there must be a confession of sins as well as repentance. Webster's Dictionary says- [Confession - acknowledgment of guilt], [Repentance - to be sorry, to turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of ones life, to feel regret and sorrow for the action one took. Nelson's Bible Dictionary says, [Confession- an admission of sins and the profession of belief in the doctrines of a particular faith.]; [Repentance- A turning away from sin, disobedience, or rebellion and turning back to God.]
In Matthew 13, Jesus said," for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:32, Jesus says it again. Confession saying you are a sinner and repentance for the the remission for your sins. Many times Jesus as well as John the Baptist would repeat it over and over again REPENT. Matthew 3:2,8; 4:17; 18:3; Luke 3:8; 13:3,5; Mark 1:15 In Acts 2:38,39 it says repent,"and" be baptized. That word and means two things will take place. Then it says you shall receive the Holy Ghost. This is a promise. First you repent of your sins and then you will receive. In Acts 3:19, it isn't mentioned, only "repent" and be converted "so our sins can be blotted out." Acts 20:21 again says "repentance." Acts 26:2, " repent." Romans 10:14," For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Nothing is said about being baptized. Titus 2:11,12; Peter 3:9; Ephesians 2:8; Through Faith John 10:9 There are more verses speaking of confessing and repenting than baptism. The reason is, baptism doesn't save your soul. Having faith and believing that Jesus is the truth sent by God, our Heavenly Father, who died and rose again, sitting at the right hand of our Father and interceding for us.
In John chapter 1, it clearly states why Jesus came and who He is. John the Baptist also states in verses 26-34; "I baptize with water but there is one here who is greater than I. He called Jesus The Lamb of God, The Son of God. In verse 29, he said Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. There was never a place in the Bible where it said that Jesus ever baptized any one. Even John admitted, Jesus taking away the sin was more important. In these verses it never said it was the baptizing that took away the sins of the world, but the confession and repentance that changes the inward man. The water can't reach inside like Jesus and the Holy Ghost can. Baptism is an outward indication of what has taken place inward when he has already repented and believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. So it is a work that becomes a public testimony of the cleansing that has taken place in the soul. It is a type of Jesus' death and resurrection. Our old nature or sin is dead and we have become new and clean. Baptism is a command from Jesus. Matthew 28:19,20, we see where the word teach comes first and then baptize after that. This shows that the people knew the truth [Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life.] first and then accepted it and then were baptized. Jesus taught us the way to follow Him, in the name of the Father, the Son and Holy Ghost. In verse 20 again, teaching to observe all things I have commanded you. So you are commanded to be baptized as a testimony to the cleansing power of our Lord to show others His mighty work in your life. He changed you from the inside out.
Old Testament: There are all kinds of arguments about what to use. When a person says that you can't use the Old Testament or a verse, most likely they don't believe the Bible is the inspired word of God. In John chapter one it tells us Jesus was from the beginning with the Father and Holy Ghost. So He was there when it was written because He is God. If we can't use the Old Testament as an example, a lot of Godly Holy men, didn't know it wasn't needed and went through a lot of trouble to protect it with their lives. Jesus as well as the disciples used the Old Testament as a guide in their lives and taught others with it even after Jesus ascended into Heaven. Paul made statements from it. Someone forgot to tell him when he wrote Hebrews 11 because he referred back to the Old Testament many times. We need the Old Testament as an example and teaching us the mighty ways of our God. So when one doesn't use the Old Testament they have thrown away over half of the Bible which God Himself inspired and instructed great Holy men to write as His Truths.
You need to read Revelation 22:18,19. The one verse that wasn't allowed to be used, Luke23:42,43 can't be taken out of the Bible it did happen and the one hanging next to Jesus on the cross confessed that he was guilty and he repented; then he died. But before that Jesus said," Today shalt thou be with me in paradise." Sins forgiven. No baptism. Very simple. Sometimes it happens where a person accepts Christ as their Saviour and before they can be baptized, they die. Are we to say they aren't able to go to Heaven when after this verse says otherwise? Should we refuse what God, Himself inspired and what Jesus Himself said?
[Communion- intimate fellowship or report] When we come together to take of the Lord's supper, it isn't a time for your next meal and a time to be laughing or being merry. We are to humbly come in reverence. Paul says in 1 Corinthians11:23, "What I speak to you now I received from the Lord . Jesus that same night in which he was betrayed took bread." If a person wanted to get real technical, then we must observe communion at night only [on Friday] at the time of the feast of unleavened bread which is the Passover that is celebrated once a year [You need to look in the Old Testament for this celebration.]. Luke 22:14-. Paul continued to say;" for as often as ye eat this bread and drink this cup, you do shew the Lord's death till he comes." There wasn't a day or a time given for us to observe communion but there were many warnings given to show the penalty of taking it unworthily in verses 27-30. Some churches observe communion once a month, some every two weeks others once a week. Each church decides when according to their doctrine and what they believe as to when it should be observed. One thing we know, is that what Jesus offered to the disciples was not His actual blood and body, because He was still with them and had not been crucified yet. The Old Testament teaches us at that time it was unclean to even touch a dead body. Why would Jesus tell us to eat His body and drink His blood when it was unlawful ? Also I think you need to read these Scriptures; Exodus 23:18; 34:25; Leviticus 3:17; Acts 15:20-29; 21:25. So we must look at this as a symbol of what Jesus said to do; as a remembrance of what He was about to do. There was a New Testament to be written, a new way for our sins to be forgiven. Through the shedding of the blood of Jesus Christ. Before in the Old Testament, faith and their righteousness is what gave them their salvation. Never would there be a need for an animal to be sacrificed, the Perfect Lamb had come, His blood is our ever lasting covenant.
The reason for guidelines:
Guidelines as you call them, are very much needed. Even Paul set guidelines. Another way to say it is standards or doctrine. If we didn't have these set guidelines, there wouldn't be any order in our churches. God is a God of order, Satan causes confusion. Some churches have splits because of the confusion Satan has brought into the church.
The pastor in a church is responsible for his congregation's physical and spiritual life. Turn in your Bible to Ezekiel 34:7-31. This shows the pastor's and the followers of Jesus, responsibility and what happens when they neglect their duty to minister to the people who God has placed around our pastor and us. Now turn to Ezekiel 3:17-21. If the pastor's don't warn the sinner or feed the followers, then their blood will be on the pastor's hands when he stands before God. When we see others who don't follow the way that God showed us in His word we are to speak to them. This is not a judgment, but we as knowing the truth are held accountable for others souls, yes, even their eternity. Sometimes when someone comes into the church you are happy and thankful they came, but later through discernment or other means, the pastor finds the person isn't what he or she acts like in front of others. In 3 John verses 9-12, it talks about a person named Diotrephs. As times went on John realized what this man was really like. John said I will remember his deeds. In verse 11 he said don't follow evil ways but good. This man must have been setting up a new doctrine because he doesn't want anything to do with John or his followers. Look up the meanings of these words and you will understand why John was so against him. In John 4:1 you will see we are allowed to judge the spirits. It means to prove all things of the spirit that it comes in. Many people use the passage," judge not lest ye be judged." You need to read the whole verse and study it. Read Matthew 7:1-5; Romans 14:13- You're not to be a stumbling block to others, that means not a condemning spirit; Luke 6:37. John 7:24, but judge with righteous judgment. Psalms 139:19-24[21,22].
Why don't some parents let go of their children and trust ? Most parents want their children to have a good and happy life. Some have been very close to their children and when it comes time for the child to grow up [mature] they don't see their children as adults, but still their little children. They can't let go and allow that child to mature into the adult stage in their life. I have to say it is a selfish act but some parents don't realize that that is what they are doing and it can harm the child that is growing or is grown. When the child moves out of the home there is emptiness in the home as well as in the heart, then loneliness sets in. But in your case, your wife's father has two problems; 1, his daughter is now married to a man of a different religion. 2, He feels her soul is in jeopardy. When you marry outside your own beliefs, you will always have problems. In the Bible it tells us not to be unevenly yoked. You need to pray for wisdom how to solve this problem, because you are married now. You and your wife need to come together, read the Bible and pray. You can't allow a division to come between both of you. God brings together, Satan divides. As you both study the Bible with and open heart and love for one another the Lord will reveal the truth to both of you. Look up all the important words in a concordance or Webster's Dictionary to get the true meaning of the words. It is said that the family that prays together, stays together. As you pray don't just think of her faults, but examine your heart too. God made you one if you hurt she hurts, if she hurts you hurt, because you are one in the sight of God. A division between you will cause death to your marriage just as if you would take a knife and cut a person in half, there is pain and death. You are one; she no longer belongs to her father.
